1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Ripped with SubRip 1.13 and Verified by CdinT (Cristi_Polacsek@SoftHome.net) 2 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:16,800 I deliver perfection... and don't brag about it! :D 3 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,000 One double room without bath for the 16th, 17th and 18th. 4 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,200 Yes, and if you'd be so good as to confirm by letter? 5 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,800 Thank you so much, goodbye. 6 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,960 Have you made up the bill for room 12, Basil? 7 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,000 No, I haven't yet, no. 8 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,240 Well, they're in a hurry, 9 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:35,920 Polly says they didn't get their alarm call. 10 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,320 And Basil, please get that picture up, 11 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:38,360 it's been there for a week. 12 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,000 It's been there since Monday, Sybil. 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,280 Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 14 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:46,200 Good morning. Friday, Sat... 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,920 Manuel! 16 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,560 There is too much butter on those trays. 17 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:55,560 Que? 18 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,880 There is too much butter on those trays. 19 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,680 - No, no, no, Senor! - What? 20 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,240 Not "on those trays." 21 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,280 No Sir, "Uno dos tres." Uno, dos, tres. 22 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,440 No, no. Hay mucho burro alli! 23 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:11,640 Que? 24 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,600 Hay mucho burro alli! 25 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,320 Ah, mantequilla! 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,360 What? Que? 27 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:20,320 Mantequilla. Burro is... is hee-haw. 28 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,800 What? 29 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,440 Burro... burro is hee-haw, hee-haw. 30 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,160 Manuel, por favor. Uno momento. 31 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,320 Si, si, si. 32 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:28,320 What's the matter, Basil? 33 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:29,320 Nothing, dear, I'm just dealing with it. 34 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,440 He speak good... how do you say...? 35 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,440 English! 36 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,880 Mantequilla, solamente, dos. 37 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,320 Dos? 38 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,800 Well, don't look at me, you're supposed to be able to speak it. 39 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,200 Two pieces! 40 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:47,000 Two each! Arriba, arriba! 41 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,320 I don't know why you wanted to hire him, Basil. 42 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,240 Because he's cheap and keen to learn, dear. 43 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,120 And in this day and age such... 44 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,880 But why did you say you could speak the language? 45 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,320 I learned classical Spanish, 46 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,320 not the strange dialect he seems to have picked up. 47 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:00,760 It'd be quicker to train a monkey. 48 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 Good morning, Miss Gatsby. Morning, Miss Tibbs. 49 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,600 Good morning, good morning. 50 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,240 - Basil! - Yes, dear? 51 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,320 Are you going to hang the picture? 52 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,160 - Yes I am, dear. - When? 53 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,480 When I've- when I've... 54 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,920 Well, why don't you do it now? 55 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,320 Well, I'm doing this, dear, I'm doing the menu. 56 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,560 You've got all morning to do the menu. 57 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,320 Why don't you hang the picture now? 58 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,320 - Well? - Yes, all right, 59 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,320 I don't think you realize how long it takes to do the menu, 60 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,560 it doesn't matter, I'll hang the picture now. 61 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,320 If the menus are late for lunch, it doesn't matter, 62 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,600 the guests can look at the picture till they are ready, right? 63 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,200 Lower. 64 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,800 Lower. 65 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,320 Up a bit. 66 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,640 - There! - Thank you, dear. 67 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,560 I don't know where I'd be without you. 68 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:46,400 In the land of the living, probably. 69 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:48,960 Yes? 70 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,320 Uh, could we have our bill please? 71 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,480 Well, can you wait a minute? 72 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,800 Right, I'm afraid we're a bit late for our train, 73 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,600 we didn't get our alarm call. 74 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,000 Right. 75 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,320 I was up at 5:00, you know, 76 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,320 we do have staff problems, 77 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,920 I'm so sorry, it's not all done by magic. 78 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,320 Basil, are you doing the menu? 79 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,400 No, I'm not doing the menu, dear. 80 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,320 I am doing the bill for these charming people who are in a hurry. 81 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,280 I'm sorry to cause all this trouble, 82 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,560 but the reason we're late is we didn't get our alarm call. 83 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,160 Oh, dear, I am sorry. 84 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,800 Basil, why didn't they get their alarm call? 85 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:17,960 Because I forgot. 86 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,520 I am so sorry I am not perfect! 87 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:22,840 There you are, there's the bill. 88 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:23,840 Perhaps you'd pay my wife, 89 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,800 I have to put the picture up... 90 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,280 If there aren't any dustbins to be cleaned out... 91 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,400 Newspapers! 92 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,680 Goodbye. See you again! 93 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,320 Don't forget the picture, Basil. 94 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,480 I won't, dear, leave it to me. 95 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:44,600 I'm going out now. 96 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,320 I expect it to up when I come back. 97 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,600 Drive carefully, dear. 98 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,760 Good morning, Major. 99 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,880 Morning, Fawlty. 100 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,480 I do apologize for the tardiness of the arrival 101 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,000 of your newspaper this morning, Major. 102 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,120 I will speak to them again, 103 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,120 see if something can be done. 104 00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,760 Ah, more strikes. 105 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,440 Dustmen, post office... 106 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,840 It makes you want to cry, doesn't it? 107 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:04,800 What's happened to the old idea 108 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,320 of doing something for your fellow man, of service? 109 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,320 - I mean, today... - Mr. Fawlty? 110 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,920 Yes, I'm coming! Wait a moment! 111 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,680 They treat you like dirt, you know? 112 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,800 Of course it's pure ignorance, 113 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,320 but with the class of guests one gets nowadays... 114 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,320 Ah! D'olivera made a hundred! 115 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,880 Did he? Did he really? 116 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,640 Good for him, good old dolly. 117 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,160 Well, well, well... 118 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,320 Thank you, Polly. 119 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,400 We're only staying till Sunday! 120 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,440 Right, thank you. 121 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,600 Ah, I thought you were going out, dear. 122 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,000 What's this? 123 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,280 I decided, Sybil, to advertise. 124 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,480 How much did it cost? 125 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,360 Oh, I haven't... 15? 126 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,560 - Forty. - Forty. 127 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,680 I have told you where we advertise. 128 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,320 Sybil, I know the hotel business. 129 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,400 No you don't, Basil. 130 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,200 Sybil, we've got to try and attract 131 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:13,520 a better class of person. 132 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:14,520 Why? 133 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,280 We're losing tone. 134 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,280 We're making money. 135 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,400 - Yes, yes. - Just. 136 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,240 Yes, but now we can try and build up 137 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,200 a higher class of clientele! 138 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,800 Turn away some of the riffraff. 139 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,920 So long as they pay their bills, Basil. 140 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,320 Is that all that matters to you? Money? 141 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,480 This advertisement is a waste of £-40. 142 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:36,400 One moment! One moment, please! 143 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,600 - Well? - Well? 144 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,800 My dear woman, Sir Richard and Lady Morris, 145 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,200 arriving this evening. For two nights. 146 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,320 You see, they saw our advertisement in country life. 147 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,560 I wish they were staying a week. 148 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,360 - Well, so do I. - Might pay for the ad then. 149 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,880 Sybil, look! 150 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,320 If we can attract this class of customer, 151 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,840 I mean, the sky's the limit! 152 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,280 Basil, 22 rooms is the limit! 153 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,680 I mean, have you seen the people in room six? 154 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,280 They've never even sat on chairs before. 155 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:04,200 They are the commonest, vulgarest, most... 156 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,320 Allo! 157 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,560 Got a room? 158 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,520 I beg your pardon? 159 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,400 Got a room for tonight, mate? 160 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,520 I shall have to see, sir... 161 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,480 - A single? - Yeah. 162 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,240 No, make it a double, I feel lucky today! 163 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,960 - Hello. - Good morning. 164 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,400 Only joking. 165 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,160 - No, we haven't. - What? 166 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,520 Haven't any rooms. Good day. 167 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,320 Number seven is free, Basil. 168 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,560 Mr. Tone is in number seven, dear. 169 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,160 No, he left while you were putting the picture up, Basil. 170 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,800 You have luggage, Sir? 171 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:50,800 Just one case. 172 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,320 In the car... The white sports. 173 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,760 Fill this in, would you, Sir? 174 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,000 If you can. 175 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,120 Hope you enjoy your stay, Mr. Brown. 176 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,160 Uh, Manuel, would you fetch 177 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,400 this gentleman's case from the car outside? 178 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,000 Take it to room seven? 179 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,840 - Is not easy for me. - What? 180 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,600 Is not easy for me... entender 181 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,320 It's not easy for you to understand. 182 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,720 Manuel... we're training him. 183 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,600 He's from Barcelona. 184 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:23,560 In Spain. 185 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,760 Obtener la valisa... 186 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,320 - Que? - La valisa en el, 187 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,800 er, auto bianco sportiv. 188 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,640 Y... a la sala... 189 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,240 Siete... por favor. 190 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,320 Pronto. 191 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,320 Is impossible. 192 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,680 - What? - Is impossible. 193 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,800 Look, it's perfectly simple! 194 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,640 Manuel-sirvase buscar mi luggage that is in the 195 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,320 white car and bring it to room number seven. 196 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,320 Lord speak Spanish! 197 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,280 Just a little, I'm sorry. 198 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,320 But I have forgotten a lot. 199 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,400 No, no, He speaks very well. 200 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,400 Very very good. Formidable! 201 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:00,440 Thank you, thank you. 202 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,280 I'm going to do it catch now 203 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,720 Well, if there's anything else, 204 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,360 I'm sure Manuel will be able to tell you, 205 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,320 as you seem to get on so well together. 206 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,400 Key? 207 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,400 Hello, dear, just doing the picture. 208 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,760 Don't forget the menu. 209 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,360 I beg your pardon? 210 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,400 Don't forget the menu. 211 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,800 I thought you said you wanted... 212 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,800 Right! I'll do the menu. 213 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,320 You could have had them both done by now 214 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,360 if you hadn't spent the whole morning 215 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,400 skulking in there listening to that racket. 216 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,960 Racket? 217 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:05,400 That's Brahms! Brahms's Third racket! 218 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,840 The whole morning? 219 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,960 I had two bars. 220 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,400 Ready to order? 221 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,760 Uh, yeah. What's a gralefrit? 222 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:16,840 Grapefruit. 223 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,720 And creme pot... Pot rouge? 224 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,120 Portugaise. Tomato soup. 225 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,320 I'll have the gralefrit. 226 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:28,320 Now balm carousel... Lamb? 227 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:29,320 Casserole. 228 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:30,480 Sounds good. Does it come with a smile? 229 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,160 It comes with sprouts or carrots. 230 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,320 Oh, smile's extra, is it? 231 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,720 You'll get one if you eat up all your sprouts. 232 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,400 Waiter! 233 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,240 I beg your pardon? 234 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,320 Oh, hello. 235 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:50,560 Can I have some wine, please? 236 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,320 The waiter is busy, Sir, 237 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,520 but I will bring you the carte des vins 238 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,320 when I have finished attending to this Gentleman. 239 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,320 Oh, fine. No hurry. 240 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,320 Oh, good, how nice, how very thoughtful. 241 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,680 I trust the beer is to your satisfaction, Sir? 242 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,320 Yes, fine. 243 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,720 Ah, good. May I wish you bon apetit. 244 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,600 Thank you. 245 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,280 Manuel! 246 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:13,280 Senor. 247 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,320 Would you fetch the wine list please? 248 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,400 Si, Senor. 249 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,400 - The wine list. - Si? 250 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,520 - The wine... vino. - Senor. 251 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,680 No, no. The list! 252 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,520 There, there, the list! 253 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:33,000 The list, there! The red... there! 254 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,680 There! 255 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,760 Have you got a half bottle of the beaujolais? 256 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,400 Yes. 257 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,680 Oh, fine. 258 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,320 Right! Never mind! Never mind! 259 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,240 Manuel, another grapefruit for table 12. 260 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,320 Please... Manuel! 261 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:56,640 I do beg your pardon. I'm so sorry. 262 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,120 - Throw it away. - Que? 263 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,480 Throw... it... away! 264 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,680 Throw... it... away? 265 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,320 Throw it away! 266 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,200 Now! 267 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,400 Sorry! 268 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,320 Sorry, sorry! Sorry about that. 269 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:25,840 Sorry about that. 270 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:27,600 No, I like a bit of cabaret. 271 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,360 You left your sketch. 272 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,680 Oh! Sorry. 273 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:32,880 It's very good. Do you sell any? 274 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,400 Enough to keep me in waitressing. 275 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,280 One half bottle of beaujolais. 276 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,320 Sybil! 277 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,480 Someone at reception, dear. 278 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,480 Yes, yes, well, yes? 279 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,680 Well, I was wondering if you could offer me 280 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:52,840 accommodation for a few nights? 281 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:53,840 Well, have you booked? 282 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:54,880 - I'm sorry? - Have you booked? 283 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,440 - No. - Oh, dear! 284 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:58,480 Why, are you full? 285 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,200 Oh, we're not full, 286 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,560 we're not full. Of course we're not full! 287 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,720 - I'd like, ah... - One moment, please. 288 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:09,960 - Yes? - A single room with a... 289 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,960 Could I have your name? 290 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,200 - Melbury. - One second, please. 291 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,840 Hello? 292 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,840 Ah, yes, Mr. O'reilly, well, it's perfectly simple. 293 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,000 When I asked you to build me a wall, 294 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,960 I was hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile, 295 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,480 you might have found time to cement them together, 296 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,840 you know, one on top of the other, 297 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,600 in the traditional fashion. 298 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:28,840 Could you fill it in, please? 299 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,720 Oh, splendid! 300 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,800 Ah, yes, but when, Mr. O'reilly? 301 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,480 There, there! 302 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,840 Yes, yes, yes, but when? 303 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,400 Yes, yes, ah, the flu, yes. 304 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,560 Both names, please. 305 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,720 Yes, I should have guessed, Mr. O'reilly, 306 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,360 that and the potato famine I suppose. 307 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:50,920 I beg your pardon? 308 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,320 Would you put both your names, please? 309 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,640 Well, will you give me a date? 310 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:55,840 Yeah, I only use one. 311 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,480 You don't have a first name? 312 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,800 No, I am Lord Melbury, so I simply sign "Melbury". 313 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:05,840 Go away. 314 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,640 I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting, your Lordship. 315 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,800 I do apologize, please forgive me. 316 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,520 Is there something, anything, I can do for you? 317 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,520 Anything at all? 318 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,000 Well, I have filled this in... 319 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,000 Oh, please don't bother with that. 320 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,840 - Now, a room? - A special room, a single? 321 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:21,840 A double? A suite? 322 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:22,880 Well, we don't have any suites, 323 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:23,880 but we do have some beautiful doubles... 324 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,400 No, no, just a single. 325 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,720 Just a single. Absolutely! 326 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,520 How very wise if I may say so, your honor. 327 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:29,640 With a bath? 328 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:35,000 Naturally, naturally! Naturellement! 329 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,240 I shall be staying for one or two nights... 330 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,560 Manuel! 331 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,800 It's rather grey today, isn't it? 332 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:47,840 Oh, yes, it is, rather. 333 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:49,560 Of course usually down here it's quite beautiful, 334 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,200 but today is a real old, uh, rotter. 335 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,160 Manuel! 336 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,560 Still, it's good for the wheat. 337 00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,840 Yes, I suppose so. 338 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,640 I hear it's coming along wonderfully at the moment! 339 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,280 Thank God! I love the wheat. 340 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,840 There's no sight like 341 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,320 a field of wheat waving in the... waving 342 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,560 in... Manuel! 343 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,680 Well, how are you? 344 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:15,840 I mean if it's not a personal question. 345 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:16,840 Well, it is a personal... 346 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,160 Let me take your cases for you. 347 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,240 Oh, thank you very much. 348 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,400 - They're just outside. - Splendid. 349 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,160 Thank you so much. I won't be one moment. 350 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,280 Ah, Lord Melbury. May I introduce my wife? 351 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:34,720 Yes, we have met. 352 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,200 My wife, may I introduce his Lordship. 353 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,840 Thank you, Basil, we've sorted it out. 354 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,840 Splendid, splendid. 355 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,360 I wonder, could I deposit this case with you? 356 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,880 It's just a few valuables? 357 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:44,960 Valuables, of course. 358 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,360 Please let me take it now. 359 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,600 I'll put it in the safe straightaway. 360 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,760 Sybil, would you put this in the safe, please? 361 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,120 I'm just off to the kitchen, Basil. 362 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,120 Yes, well, if you're too busy... 363 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,520 Nice to have met you, Lord Melbury. 364 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,240 - Hope you enjoy your stay. - Thank you so much. 365 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,400 I'll do it then, then I'll do the picture... 366 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,160 I'll put this away in one moment, your Lord. 367 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,280 Manuel, will you take these cases to room 21. 368 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,760 Que? 369 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,640 Take... to room... 21. 370 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,200 No entender. 371 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,840 Prenda las casos en... Oh, doesn't matter. 372 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,280 I'll do it. Thank you Manuel. 373 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,280 - I take them. - No, no, go away! 374 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,840 Go and wait! 375 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:21,000 - Wait? - Wait. 376 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,600 In there! Go and wait In there! 377 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,760 Go and be a waiter in there! 378 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,160 I do apologize, your Lordship. 379 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,760 I'm afraid he's only just joined us. 380 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,560 It'd be quicker to train a monkey, ha ha ha! 381 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,840 Do please follow me... 382 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,240 I mean, if you're ready. There's no hurry. 383 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,440 Oh, yes, yes, fine. 384 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,560 Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you. 385 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,400 Would you mind moving to that table? 386 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,400 What? 387 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,880 Could I askyou please, to move to that table over there? 388 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:05,880 But... 389 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:06,880 I'm so sorry to trouble you. 390 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,560 - We're halfway through! - Thank you so much. 391 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,960 This is Lord Melbury's table, you see? 392 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,440 - What? - Lord Melbury. 393 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,680 When he stays with us, he always sits at this table. 394 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,680 Well, why did they put us here? 395 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,480 Uh, an oversight on my wife's part. 396 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,120 I'm so sorry. He's only just arrived, you see. 397 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,320 Would you mind? Polly! 398 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,400 Would you help these people to that table? 399 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,920 Thank you, thank you so much. 400 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,960 Come on! Come on! 401 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,680 Thank you. 402 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,000 Ah, Lord Melbury! 403 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,840 Do please come this way, your Lordship, 404 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,960 I have your table over here by the window. 405 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,320 As usual... just here. 406 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,480 - Thank you so much. - Thank you very much. 407 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,840 Oh, my God! 408 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:51,960 I think he's killed him! 409 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:56,360 Get on with your meals! Thank you so much. 410 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,600 Lord Melbury, I really must apologize again... 411 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,480 Please, please, think nothing of it. 412 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,840 - But it was so... - No, no, no. 413 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,360 It was the smallest of accidents. 414 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,600 It could have occurred anywhere. 415 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,600 - Yes, but... - I've forgotten all about it. 416 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,320 That's most... You're really... Ah, your Lordship, 417 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,800 would you allow me to offer you 418 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,840 dinner here tonight, as our guest? 419 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:24,360 That's extremely kind of you. 420 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,160 Unfortunately, I have an engagement tonight. 421 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,640 - Oh. - Oh, actually... 422 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,720 - Yes? - There is one thing. 423 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:30,840 Good! Good! 424 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,840 I was wondering... can you cash me a small check? 425 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,400 I'm playing golf this afternoon... 426 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,120 Oh, delighted! 427 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,600 And I'd rather not go into the town. 428 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,840 Absolutely... I mean, uh, how much? 429 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:41,920 Uh, if it's not a rude question? 430 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:46,120 Could you manage 50... oh! 100? 431 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:51,400 A hundred? Oh, absolutely. 432 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,000 Oh, yes, I mean, will 100 be enough? 433 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,680 I mean 150, 434 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:56,880 two, 160? 435 00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,160 Let's see, that's uh, dinner tonight, few tips... 436 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,760 Oh, and it's the weekend, isn't it? 437 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,680 Would 200 be all right? 438 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,840 Please! Yes! Oh, ha, ha! Oh, tremendous! 439 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,240 Oh, I'm so happy! 440 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,120 I'll send someone to the town straightaway 441 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,320 and have it for you here when you get back. 442 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,680 Yes, well, that would be splendid. 443 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,000 Thank you, thank you, your Lordship. 444 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,000 Thank you so much. 445 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,720 Oh, not at all, my privilege. 446 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:26,520 Breeding... I mean... oh! 447 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,480 Hello, dear. 448 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,440 - What are you doing? - I'm kissing you, dear. 449 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,880 Well, don't. 450 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,840 Just thought it might be nice to... 451 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:36,120 I heard about lunch. 452 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,560 What? Oh, that! Think nothing of it. 453 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:39,600 What? 454 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,840 It was the smallest of accidents. 455 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,400 - Could have happened anywhere. - Anywhere? 456 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,440 First you move that nice family in the middle of their meal, 457 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,840 and then you attack Lord Melbury with a chair! 458 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:48,920 Look, Sybil, 459 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,760 I've had a word with Lord Melbury about it. 460 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,800 He was quite charming... 461 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,920 Oh, it's delightful to have people like that staying here. 462 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,240 Sheer class, golf, baths, engagements, 463 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:02,800 a couple of hundr... h... h... horses. 464 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,800 Well, I've never seen such tatty cases. 465 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:04,840 Of course you haven't. 466 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,160 It's only the true upper class 467 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:07,680 that would have tat like that. 468 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:08,840 It's the whole point! 469 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:10,840 Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about. 470 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,600 No, I don't. But don't ever move guests 471 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,680 in the middle of a meal again. 472 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,920 And get that picture up. 473 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,880 Sour old rat. 474 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,120 Ah! Polly. 475 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,800 Would you do me a favor? 476 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,120 When you're down in the town this afternoon, 477 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,840 would you just pop... 478 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:29,840 just between ourselves, 479 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:30,840 don't mention this to my wife, 480 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,360 pop into the bank and just... 481 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,800 Could somebody answer that, please? 482 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,640 Hello! 483 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,920 Is there nobody who can answer that? 484 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,640 There must be someone. 485 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,640 Not you. 486 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,800 I'll never get it up. 487 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,520 I'll cancel my holiday, do it then. 488 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,440 Hello, Fawlty Towers? 489 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,680 Hello, Fawlty Towers. 490 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,400 Oh, hello, Brenda. 491 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,840 Basil, it's 6:00. 492 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,400 Ah, Polly... did you cash it? 493 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,920 - Yes, Mr. Fawlty? - Good, good. 494 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,800 - Could I have a word with you? - What? 495 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,280 - Could I speak to you for just a minute? - Not now, polly! 496 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,680 - It's very important. - Later! Later! 497 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,400 - Basil! - I'm just going, dear. 498 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,440 Thank you, thank you so much, Polly. 499 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,400 Ah, good evening, Major. 500 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,400 Evening, Fawlty. 501 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:29,920 The usual? 502 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,760 Oh, why not? Indeed, yes. 503 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,880 Why not? I've just been watching 504 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,360 one of those nature films on television. 505 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:39,360 Oh, yes? 506 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,280 Did you know the female gibbon 507 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,640 gestates for seven months? 508 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,200 Seven months? 509 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,400 Well I never... Here you are, Major. 510 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,840 Seven... my word. 511 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,720 Ah, Good Evening, Mr. Wareing. 512 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,800 A gin and orange, a lemon squash and a scotch and water, please. 513 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,880 Certainly. 514 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,360 Is there any part of the room 515 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,840 you'd like us to keep away from? 516 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,560 What? 517 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,280 We'll be over there, then. 518 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:08,800 Seven! Well, well... 519 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,800 Evening, Fawlty. 520 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:10,440 Ah, Good Evening, Lord Melbury. 521 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,600 - Anywhere? - Yes, anywhere, anywhere. 522 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,240 Lord Melbury, may I offer you a little apertif as our guest? 523 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,840 That's very kind of you. Dry sherry, if you please. 524 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,400 What else? 525 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,680 Such... Oh, I don't know what. 526 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:25,840 Je ne sais quoi? 527 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,240 Exactly! Exactly! 528 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,480 Ah, there you are, Sybil. 529 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:30,800 Good evening, Major. 530 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,800 Evening, Mrs. Fawlty. 531 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,960 - There you are, your Lordship. - Ah, thank you very much. 532 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,240 I see my little collection of 533 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,680 coins tickles your interest. 534 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,960 What? Oh, yes, yes. 535 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,960 All British Empire of course. 536 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,840 Used to be quite a hobby of mine. 537 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:45,000 Little investment too. 538 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,800 Quite. Talking about, um, 539 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,560 - Did you manage to... - Oh yes. 540 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,440 - There you are, your Lordship. - Oh, Thank you, yes. 541 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,840 Yes, you know, these sorts of things, 542 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,960 their value's soared this last couple of years. 543 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,000 Have they really? 544 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,120 Oh, yes. You take my advice. 545 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,400 Get them revalued, 546 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,840 and insure them for the full amount. 547 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,440 Yes, yes, I will. 548 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,480 You can't take any risks nowadays, I'm afraid. 549 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:17,840 - No, no, quite. - Well, I must be off. 550 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:19,200 Thank you very much, your Lordship. 551 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,600 Basil! 552 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,160 Yes, yes, I was just talking to Lord Melbury, dear. 553 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,840 A gin and orange, a lemon squash and a scotch and water, please! 554 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:27,360 I do apologize, I was just talking to Lord... 555 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,400 Fawlty! 556 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,960 I was thinking... 557 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,840 You see, I am having dinner tonight 558 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,720 with the duke of Buckleigh, do you know him? 559 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,840 Not personally, no. 560 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,320 He's a great expert, 561 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:42,480 you know, Sotheby's and all that. 562 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,480 Is he? 563 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,840 Now if you like, I could take them with me, 564 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,440 ask him to have a quick look at them, 565 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,400 and find their current value. 566 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,360 - Would you really? - Yes, yes, certainly. 567 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,120 Well, I'll be off in a few moments. 568 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,280 - Well, that's really so... - Basil! 569 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,840 I'm talking to Lord Melbury! 570 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:01,320 A gin and orange, a lemon squash and a scotch and water, please! 571 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,560 All right! All right! 572 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,520 Oh, Mr. Fawlty... 573 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:09,720 Was that Lord Melbury? Has he gone? 574 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,120 I rang, Mr. Fawlty, I must speak with you. 575 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,840 - Can't you see I'm busy? - It's very important. 576 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:14,840 - Can we talk in there? - I can't. 577 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,600 - Basil! - It's very important! 578 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,240 I'm dealing with something important out here, Sybil. 579 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,600 Yes? Yes, right, well, yes, yes, what is it? 580 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:25,600 - It's about Lord Melbury. - Yes? 581 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,120 He's not Lord Melbury, 582 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:28,680 he's a confidence trickster. 583 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,160 I beg your pardon? 584 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,240 Mr. Brown told me. 585 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,440 Oh! 586 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:33,840 Mr. Brown's from the C.I.D. 587 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:35,400 They've been watching Melbury 588 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,160 because he's pulling some big con trick in the town. 589 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:38,920 They're going to arrest him when he leaves here, 590 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:40,320 so as not to cause you embarrassment. 591 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,520 But he asked me to tell you... 592 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:42,840 Oh, how nice of him! 593 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:44,400 Please, Mr. Fawlty... 594 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,360 Oh, I don't know what other tales 595 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,240 Mr. Brown of M.I.5 has been impressing you with. 596 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,360 - He's a con man! - Oh, yes, of course, 597 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,360 it stands out a mile, doesn't it? 598 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:51,840 He's so common. 599 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,680 Unlike that cockney git whose ulterior motive 600 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,720 poor, innocent, misguided child that you are. 601 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:00,760 Basil, what's going on? 602 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,200 Nothing, my dear, nothing at all. 603 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:03,960 - Mrs. Fawlty... - Yes, Polly? 604 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,840 - I don't know what she's... - Basil! 605 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:07,560 Mr. Brown is from the C.I.D. 606 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,720 He showed me identification. 607 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,000 They're watching Melbury. He's a confidence trickster. 608 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,280 I see. 609 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,840 What do you mean, you see? 610 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,400 Let's have a look at these valuables. 611 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,400 What are you doing, Sybil? 612 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,680 Sybil, I forbid you to open that safe! 613 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,960 Sybil, I forbid you to take that case out! 614 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:25,160 Sybil, do not open that case, I forbid it! 615 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,720 I never thought I would live to see the day 616 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,400 when a peer of the realm, 617 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,680 entrusts to us, a case of valuables... 618 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,560 In trust... 619 00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:58,880 I'll call the police. 620 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:02,480 They're already here, Mr. Brown's outside. 621 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,960 Someone at reception, Basil? 622 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,840 Ah! All right. 623 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,600 Ah... Good evening. 624 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:22,840 I believe you were expecting us. 625 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:24,000 No, I was expecting somebody else. 626 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,840 Sir Richard and Lady Morris. 627 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:26,960 Yes, yes, them as well. 628 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:27,960 I'm sorry? 629 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,320 - How did you know? - What? 630 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,960 Oh... You're Sir Richard and Lady Morris, 631 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,240 I do beg your pardon. 632 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,520 I was just think... 633 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,200 Would you mind filling this out, please? 634 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,680 We've given you room... aha! 635 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:43,840 Ah, Fawlty! 636 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,840 Mr. Fawlty to you, Lord Melbury. 637 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:47,880 I beg your pardon? 638 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,680 Oh, nothing, please forget all about it. 639 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,680 Here's the check for £-200. 640 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,480 Ah, thank you so much. 641 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,680 Now, about my priceless collection of coins? 642 00:26:58,920 --> 00:26:59,680 Oh, yes, ah, do you still... 643 00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:00,800 Do I still want you to take them 644 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,520 to be valued by the Duke of Buckleigh, my Lord? 645 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:03,520 - Ah, yes. - No, I don't. 646 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,600 Because we've just heard 647 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,480 that the duke of Buckleigh is dead! 648 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,120 Yes, got his head knocked off by a golf ball. 649 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:10,840 Tragic! Tragic! 650 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,000 Well, how are you, Lord Melbury? 651 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,840 'ow are yer then? All right, mate? 652 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,560 'ow's me old mucker? 653 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:20,920 Any valuables to deposit, Sir Richard? 654 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,640 Any bricks? 655 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,840 I do apologize... You bastard! 656 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,320 We've given you room 12 657 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:30,560 with the view overlooking the park... 658 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:31,560 I'm sure you'll like it... 659 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:32,600 We'll have your bags brought up... 660 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,200 And may I introduce your wife? 661 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,560 Hello, Lord Melbury! 662 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,160 - Bastard! - Basil! 663 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,320 Please think nothing of it. 664 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,480 Do please excuse me one moment. 665 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:02,560 Basil, the morrises are leaving. 666 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,000 Where are you going? Where are you going? 667 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,240 We're leaving! 668 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,120 Oh, don't, please stay, you'll like it here. 669 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:16,560 I've never been in such a place in my life. 670 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,840 You snobs! 671 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,800 You stupid, stuck-up, toffee-nosed, half-witted... 672 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:36,000 upper-class piles of... pus! 673 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,400 - Sorry, Mr. Fawlty. - Just one, please. 674 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,360 Sorry, Mr. Fawlty. 675 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,640 Well, I'd better put the picture up. 676 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,400 Oh, thank You, Polly, for the... 677 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,720 - Well done, Manuel. - Que? 678 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,800 Oh... Ole. 679 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:19,840 Sorry about that, Mr. Fawlty. 680 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:21,120 Can I buy you a drink? 681 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,120 No, no, I'd better put this up, I suppose. 682 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,840 Basil! 683 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,760 A gin and orange, 684 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,920 a lemon squash and a scotch and water, please! 685 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,160 Right! 686 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,320 Come on.